Miller's Blog

Entry: My $0.02 About Oil

2012-01-19T04:06:00.004-05:00

Note: This is an opinion piece. Given the vast numbers of supporters on either side of this argument with equally vast amounts of "supporting data", I'm going to abstain from including graphs, spreadsheets, and statistics. Only my opinion.

I was reading yet another Facebook post today from someone who posted an article that criticized the current administration for killing a measure that would allow the building of a 1,700-mile pipeline from Alberta, Canada straight to Texas.

"Building the pipeline would bring over 700,000 barrels of oil per day and directly create 20,000 truly shovel-ready jobs. The Canadian Energy Research Institute estimates that current pipeline operations and the addition of the Keystone XL pipeline would create 179,000 American jobs by 2035."

The article in and of itself is not what caught my attention. Obama this. Obama that. Blame Obama. If you haven't figured it out already, the media likes tension. The media is like those countless forms of bacteria that lives in your intestines. You know it's there but your awareness of its presence and its ability to affect how your brain works are completely ignored. But it IS there and it DOES help you make dietary decisions based on what you THINK you are actually craving. It's a classic cycle. But, at this point, it's rather expected. I mean...it's the media! Ever since the news became a commodity, there's barely a single source out there that can be trusted for a detached, dispassionate delivery. What caught my eye (although to no surprise) was the tone of the comments that followed the post.

The comments were what you would expect from the 50% of the population that doesn't want Obama in office. At best, he's simply ineffective. At worst, his refusal to allow the pipeline constitutes a gross dereliction of his duty to provide for his constituents.

My opinion is this.....

WHO CARES!!!

One thing that impressed me about Europe (at least the parts that I saw) was how intimately it embraces renewable energy. A classic example that I give is how, no matter how "podunk" of a town it was that we drove through, there were solar panels EVERYWHERE. Some houses had roofs that were completely constructed from them. It's debatable whether or not wind mills, hydroelectric dams, solar panels, etc are the ultimate answer, but they're a pretty darn good start!!

Now, to the point. I don't like oil. Or, more accurately, I don't like petroleum and I certainly don't like economies that are based on it. My simple reasons:

There IS only a finite supply. People...believe it or not, this planet is going to have a serious crowding problem soon. And by "soon", I mean potentially in MY generation (and that makes the selfish hairs on the back of my neck stand on end). That means that the population will continue to grow. Greater population equals greater consumption. Period. If you turn the TV off, close the Fox News window on your computer, and actually pay attention to oil companies and their strategies, you'll notice that the oil business ain't as easy as it once was. Companies are having to dig in more places and more dangerously than they ever have before to keep up with current demand. You may think that OPEC and other like organizations are domineering and manipulative with the market, but I PROMISE you that you have no idea just how many strings they're pulling and how they vector every economy on this planet in the direction that they want it to go.
Petroleum promotes a producer/consumer mentality that is very unhealthy, in my opinion. Like any other market, it is based on "who has the oil" and "who needs the oil". And, I'll spare you the diatribe, but this is where politics comes in. Oil is a political tool. As long as someone else has something THAT important that we absolutely NEED, then governments will always do what needs to be done to protect and compartmentalize those producers, turn a blind eye when necessary to whatever wrongs those producers do, and, if necessary, instigate war under some other pretext in order to protect the flow. (And no..that was not a stab at Bush Jr. Crack the spine on your Encyclopedia Britanica and learn about the relationship between resources and conflict.)
Petroleum is...well...what's a good word...oh yeah...BAD!!! Basically, the whole process is set up to take millions-of-years-old goo from the ground and transform it into something that can conveniently reside in the same atmosphere that we breathe from. I won't bother getting into the whole Ozone thing. Too hot a topic (pun intended). Personally, the idea of getting cooked by the sun always appealed to me, anyway.

But yet, with all of this, people STILL point fingers at this country's executive whenever any measure isn't taken to secure the future's oil supply. I think it hilarious that your mobile phone, your TV, your computer, hell...just about EVERYTHING electronic will be antiquated and understandably discarded within a few years time BUT...the internal combustion engine...now THAT is a thing of beauty that would just be a shame to get rid of. True...it's a couple hundred years old, but talking with my buddies just wouldn't be the same unless I could discuss my fuel-injected, precision-timed, liquid-cooled, 59-liter, 5,000 horse-power, baby-eating HEMI engine. I mean...really? "So...yeah...you wouldn't believe the torque I get from my 40-AMP electric Duracell power plant. It's truly righteous!". You're right. That didn't sound the same. Best stick with the gas engine. It sounds and feels better.

Read my lips. OIL IS HEROIN.

See this picture? This is the world. It is an old woman shooting up whenever it gets the chance. She's been doing it for as long as anyone can remember and she just doesn't wanna quit. Drug dealers have to make a living too, right? In our case, the drug dealers constitute the wealthiest powers in the world and whisper in all of the right ears in order to usurp even the best political intentions. They will sell their drug until every last drop is sold. Not "gone"...but "sold".

(By the way...this picture is actually an ad for a rehab center. Kudos for the profoundness of the imagery. I hope that they are able to help a lot of people.)

We aren't interested in getting away from the heroin. We're ONLY interested in securing our supply...and, by God, it'd better be CHEAP! It's a constitutional right! It says so in the...well...whatever amendment it is...I forget. But it's there!

In the end, what it comes down to is that this country hasn't even TRIED to get away from oil. The media doesn't help. Renewable energy sounds like more trouble than it's worth. No need to talk about the automotive lobby and so on. It's been talked to death and is pretty much understood. Energy companies...auto companies...hell, even governments...they all pay lip service by publishing how many millions of dollars they throw into research each year for our "eventual migration away from fossil fuels". Geezus...really?

If we put HALF the effort into getting away from disgusting fossil fuels as we did getting to the moon, we'd be there by now. But no. We simply don't want to. We're happy coughing every day and living under the heals of the world's oil-producing nations.

So, again, we haven't even tried. And no, (insert president's name here). I don't blame you.

P.S. And just so you know, I was RAISED on oil. Oil birthed me, oil nurtured me, oil put me through college. I was born into an Aramco family and I'd be lying through my teeth if I said that that company...the largest petroleum producing company in the world...didn't give me a lot. But, in the grand expanse that is my opinion, it changes little.

Entry: Last Flight of the Avenger

2011-11-29T03:19:00.008-05:00

Tags: Nostalgia, Childhood

I spent Thanksgiving over on the left coast with my father and some extended family. Good times, as always. I was fortunate enough to get one last ride in "the boat" before it was put up for sale on CraigsList.

You'll have to understand a little about its history before you can understand this craft's significance to me. This boat (or an identical twin) has been a part of the family longer than I have. I have very fond memories as a youngster zipping across the Persian Gulf while sitting on the bow with my legs hanging off. The railing made a very convenient seat.

Water sports were a bit different in the 70s and 80s (from my limited perspective) given that the beasts of burden that roamed the surface of the water seemed a lot more "robust" (for a total lack of a better word) than their counterparts of today. Today it seems to be all about the kinds of exotic composites comprising the hull and the number of ubiquitous computer processors scattered about the craft maintaining perfect precision between the engine and the control surfaces.

This particular craft is a vestige from a time when the goal was simple and the designs purposed towards simply having fun and not necessarily having to wonder how one was going to pay for it. (Have you SEEN how much boats cost today???). Streamlined hull....check. Engine....check. Rudder....check. Go!

I'm told by my mother that during our years in Saudi, my little kiddie seat would nestle neatly and nicely below the center console. There was enough space for two people at the helm and plenty of leg room to go around. It's a shame that I have absolutely no memories of that at all.

The design of the boat was such that a family of three could sleep comfortably in the bow. I'm not just saying that as a bullet point, either. We actually used to. The drill was simple...drive out from Abqaiq the night before, throw a sheet out across the bow, get some serious Zs, and then hit the water as the sun was just coming up off the horizon. I wish I could remember how to spell the name of the beach that we would park out at because I'm not going to look the fool by trying to guess. Me and Arabic...not so good together. :)

But, I digress. Dad afforded me one last jog around Whiskeytown Lake a few days ago. Although 25 years off the assembly line, the boat still shone like a dancer in her prime. I'll never, as long as I live, forget the moment that we cleared the no-wake buoy. My dad gingerly says..."Well...let's see if she'll go". Three seconds later, we're at mach 2 and my hair's on fire.

Love ya, dad.

Entry: More pictures from Lake Murray

2011-11-15T11:33:00.000-05:00

These were taken from the Lake Murray trip (previously posted here). It's nice to have someone ELSE taking pictures so that I can actually prove that I was in the water with everyone else. :)

Just me. Ho hum.

Just me again...re-seating my mask.

Group shot!

So, the group I was with were a bunch of commercial divers in training. It's common for them to deploy into the water from some relatively extreme heights. So, I figured I'd try the 15-foot (roughly) giant stride. The picture is actually higher than it looks.

]

Me. Bottom right.

Me...back left.

Diving off the the "No Diving" sign from top of the pontoon.

Entry: So, I received this email today ...

2011-11-15T08:41:00.002-05:00

So, I received this email today. It was your standard chain letter delivered in the usual format (in other words, absolutely pregnant with greater-than signs on the left denoting every dirty little e-mail account this thing had touched before arriving in my inbox).

The topic was Thomas Jefferson. The letter starts out by describing Jefferson's intellectual maturation, mentions his broad career, and then ends with a series of choice quotes.

It is rare that I propagate chain mail like this but I happen to like this one. And no...I have not diligently checked on the accuracy of the content so I could simply be helping some fool spread nonsense and not even know it.

Resume of Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson was a very remarkable man who started learning very early in life and never stopped.

At 5, began studying under his cousins tutor.
At 9, studied Latin, Greek and French.
At 14, studied classical literature and additional languages.
At 16, entered the College of William and Mary.
At 19, studied Law for 5 years starting under George Wythe.
At 23, started his own law practice.
At 25, was elected to the Virginia House of Burgesses.
At 31, wrote the widely circulated "Summary View of the Rights of British America" and retired from his law practice.
At 32, was a Delegate to the Second Continental Congress.
At 33, wrote the Declaration of Independence ...
At 33, took three years to revise Virginias legal code and wrote a Public Education bill and a statute for Religious Freedom.
At 36, was elected the second Governor of Virginia succeeding Patrick Henry.
At 40, served in Congress for two years.
At 41, was the American minister to France and negotiated commercial treaties with European nations along with Ben Franklin and John Adams.
At 46, served as the first Secretary of State under George Washington.
At 53, served as Vice President and was elected president of the American Philosophical Society.
At 55, drafted the Kentucky Resolutions and became the active head of Republican Party.
At 57, was elected the third president of the United States.
At 60, obtained the Louisiana Purchase doubling the nation's size.
At 61, was elected to a second term as President.
At 65, retired to Monticello.
At 80, helped President Monroe shape the Monroe Doctrine.
At 81, almost single-handedly created the University of Virginia and served as its first president.
At 83, died on the 50th anniversary of the Signing of the Declaration of Independence along with John Adams

Thomas Jefferson knew because he himself studied the previous failed attempts at government. He understood actual history, the nature of God, his laws and the nature of man. That happens to be way more than what most understand today. Jefferson really knew his stuff. A voice from the past to lead us in the future:

John F. Kennedy held a dinner in the white House for a group of the brightest minds in the nation at that time. He made this statement: "This is perhaps the assembly of the most intelligence ever to gather at one time in the White House with the exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone."

"When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe." ~Thomas Jefferson

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." ~Thomas Jefferson

"It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world." ~Thomas Jefferson

"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." ~Thomas Jefferson

"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government." ~Thomas Jefferson

"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." ~Thomas Jefferson

"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." ~Thomas Jefferson

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." ~Thomas Jefferson

"To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical." ~Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:

"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property - until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."

Entry: My (partial) Sunday On the Water

2011-11-07T02:55:00.005-05:00

More pictures of diving. Again, though, no cool underwater pictures. I don't seem to like diving in places where you can actually see anything. Today's dive was in Lake Murray just outside of Columbia, SC. I was fortunate to be able to go out with some students from the International Diving Institute. There are no shots of me here as I was the one with the camera all day.

Things I learned today:

Wipe off camera lens after having it in the water. Subsequent surface shots come out kinda blurry if you don't. (Common sense? Yes, I think so!)
How not to remove a fin from one's foot while still in the water.
How to turn a dive reel into a giant floating spaghetti monster at 65 feet.

The happy couple relaxing in the back.

Kim looking all authoritative.

A gentleman whose name I can't recall. I thus dub him "BillysDad". Anyway, I snapped this shot of BillysDad at the helm.

This is BillysDad actually posing. Seriously...I'm not kidding.

Jus' hang'n.

Yes. Out double-decker pontoon boat came complete with water slide. What better accessory for a boat dive is there?

Mike hanging out on top.

I feel like total arse for not remember this guy's name. He's the guy who loaned me his spare fins after I lost one of mine. Total life-saver.

Billy and Trace looking for the marker buoy that marks the submerged bridge. BTW, it was never found. <:(

Random islands.

Another random island.

The ladies hanging out in the back.

A shot of my obnoxiously yellow fin in the water. This is to give an idea regarding visibility. Then again, it doesn't help that this picture was taken while I was in the shadow of the boat.

Divers in.

No idea who's in this shot.

Another boat shot.

And another.

Dive 1 complete. Time for surface interval.

Kim, regaling us with stories of past diving glories whilst imparting wisdom from immeasurable experience.

Mike: "Where are the pole dancers?"

"Yes, Mr. camera man? Can I help you?"

Actually not what it looks like, hilariously enough.

"I'm just gonna sit here on my slide and...not slide. By the way, where's the fried chicken?"

"Cap'n Morgan, sir."

In the water again.

Waiting for stragglers.

Shot of the bottom at 20 feet.

Shot of my dive buddy at 20 feet. The murk is actually do to silting, not the water being that nasty.

Ok. Time for some history. Something you should know about Lake Murray and the role it played in the Doolittle Raid.

Remnants of spent munitions found on the bottom. Stood next to air tank for scale.

Her: "Hey, honey. How was your day?"

Him: "Great. Found a WWII bomb in the lake."

Another picture of the bomb.

A portion of a detonator that I found.

Organizing everything after returning from the dives.

Entry: A Saturday on the water

2011-10-26T05:42:00.012-05:00

Spent Saturday on the Water with the folks from Charleston SCUBA. Learned a lot of lessons from the last experience. I have come to find that Dimenhydrinate (Triptone, Dramamine, etc) is my drug of choice for motion sickness. Meclizine (Bonine, Dramamine-Non-Drowsy, etc) obviously didn't do it for me last time.

The water was exceptionally murky that day so I don't really have any underwater pictures to share. Be prepared to be underwhelmed with my selection. ;)

Steve, one of our dive masters. Yes, we had two that day.

A random shot of the Sullivan's Island light house over Dave's head. He ended up being my dive buddy for this excursion.

Random shot of Sally, Phil, and a couple others.

If you zoom in, you can see the Morris Island light house in the background over the jetties.

Another shot of the jetties. (Exciting, eh?)

Sullivan's Island light house again.

A view of Charleston as we leave.

This is the most uncomfortable sleeping pose I have ever seen. it apparently worked for David, though.

Looking for the wreck.

A shot of my fin (with the red filter on the camera) to give you an idea of how murky it was that day.

Entry: Diving at the Springs

2011-10-17T03:48:00.002-05:00

Drove down to Ginnie Springs this weekend to work on my cavern diving certification. My buddy Mike was the instructor for the event and did an absolutely awesome job. Again, I brought my underwater camera and, although the result are a tad better than last time, they are still kinda blah at best. (Still don't have a red filter or strobe.)

A shot of the first location.

The water above 'the ballroom' (a really nice cave that is blocked off at the bottom by a large grate).

Another shot of the ridiculously clear water.

Did I mention that Saturday was the day when every USF frat decided to hit the springs?

Veronica and Tom (the other students in the course) gearing up.

Me, underwater, setting a primary tie-off before entering the ballroom.

Me, entering the ballroom. Does it seem dark in there? It's darker than you think.

A view from inside the cave.

The aforementioned grate that sits ~60 feet.

My sitting in front of the grate looking all sexy.

Hello, there!

You can see a light from a diver in the cave below and you can see where the spent breathing gases percolate through the rock up to the surface above.

Mike swimming out of the ballroom.

No surprise here!

One of the points-of-entry into our diving area on day two.

Going through some line drills before getting wet.

Just a picture of myself chill'axing on the surface. This was my first excuse to operationally use my doubles tanks. They ain't light!

A random crevice that we did not explore.

I really don't know what this is a picture of. It's either Tom or Veronica and I think we're coming out of Devil's Ear.

A shot of Veronica after one of our dives in Devil's Ear.

Mike recovering the reel at the mouth of Devil's Eye.

Mike, Tom, and Veronica.

Tom and Veronica.

Me, do'in my thing.

Mike, do'in HIS thing.

This was just inside the entrance at the bottom of Devil's Ear. "PREVENT YOUR DEATH. GO NO FURTHER." This is followed at the bottom by "THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS CAVE WORTH DYING FOR. DO NOT GO BEYOND THIS POINT."

The obligatory shot of myself behind the sign.

A shot of some other random diver coming through. Without these lights that we carry, it is literally pitch black.

A shot of some spent breathing gas on the ceiling of the cave. Looked kinda neat. Was weird sticking my head in.

A shot of the percolating gases above the caves pictured above.

Overall, it was an awesome experience! It was great diving with such great people who had such an abundance of experience. I learned a lot about methods of streamlining. Need to get shorter hoses at some point for most of my stuff. Also need a lot more practice with the doubles.

All in all, it was fun! :)

Entry: Discover SCUBA weekend

2011-09-19T03:49:00.000-05:00

Had another great day doing the Discover SCUBA things with the folks over at IDI. This month I was privileged to have my buddy David with me, back from Germany no less.

I strapped on my doubles and got wet for the first time. It was....an experience to say the least. :) Gotta go back next month and try it with a bare back plate as opposed to the nice OMS harness that I had it on.

We didn't have any proper cameras so I snapped a few with my iPhone(TM).

Who is that masked man?

David, waving to his crowd of adoring fans.

Yeah...I guess it's kinda hard to smile under the water.

Stay tuned for details about next month's exciting adventures in Discover SCUBA.

Entry: Germany, Day 7

2011-09-09T15:33:00.041-05:00

This was an awesome way to finish off this vacation. We took a road trip out to check out the Black Forestin beautiful Triberg. This forest is supposedly the place from the Hansel & Gretel fairy tale. If I were an author or independently wealthy, I would so have a house in this little town. It is easily one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. It also supposedly has two cuckoo clocks that are vying for the largest in the Guiness book of records. And, after today, I NEVER wanna see another cuckoo clock as long as I live.

The day started off well. :)

Squirrel!!!

No swimming.

Shoulda brought my swim trunks.

Wow.

Awesome.

Back shot.

Seriously wanted to jump in.

Ashleigh and Georganna.

Forgot what this actually said. They had lots of stuff carved into the rocks.

I could live here.

Ick. Shame.

Best ice cream ever.

"I only see a couple of old people."

One of the local churches.

Nice organ!

Even small town podunk churches are awesome!!

I could live there, too.

One of the many Jesuses that we've seen.

Umm. How?

Lots of cuckoo clocks.

This was kind of disturbing. The dude's legs turn into horns.

Ashleigh hiding after I asked her to stand back for a picture.

Gummi penis, anyone?

Georganna milking the ketchup.

These dudes turned their store into a giant cuckoo clock.

Biggest one I saw all day.

Ashleigh eating her Black Forest cake (which apparently originated in this village).

Singing in the car?

Random castle.

Entry: Germany, random pics

2011-09-08T13:48:00.015-05:00

Here are some random pics that didn't make it into any of the other stuff that I've posted thus far.

Nice bod!

Yep...I'm a cut, yodeling, bad-*ss.

This was the mother of all steins. It wasn't the biggest, but it was a crystal horn with some seriously intricate sterling silver all over it. It was quite impressive.

Just hang'in.

Yes....I fly 4,000 miles so that I can eat at Chili's. Don't judge.

A C-5 Galaxy on the Rammstein flight line.

A series of C-17 Globemasters.

A few Globemasters and a KC-135 in the very background.

The track and football field behind the dorms.

The dorms. Very nice accommodations.

Apparently, having covered motorcycles is pretty common here in Germany.

Something isn't right here.

Awwwwww, yeah!!

Entry: Germany, Day 6

2011-09-08T10:20:00.056-05:00

We went to check out the Burg Nanstein castle that overlooks Lanstuhl and gives a great view of the Rammstein airfield. Apparently, a paranormal group went to the grounds a few years ago to do an investigation.

This was, bar none, my favorite castle yet. It wasn't prettied-up for the sake of the tourists and there were no guides to tell you what you could and couldn't do. They were raw ruins with a ton 'o history including cannon balls stuck in the walls and dungeon-like catacombs.

Yes...it's sideways. I failed to rotate before uploading and am feeling too lazy to do anything about it.

Yep...this one's sideways too. This was the vicious attack dog.

I was interested how they built the castle INTO the mountain's foundation. The problem is that it's all clay and you can literally brush indentions into the clay with your finger.

Into the catacombs we go.

A great shot of Ashleigh and Curtis taking a picture through a grate.

Georganna leaning over the castle wall.

Ashleigh contemplating mortality.

A great shot of Rammstein airfield.

Ashleigh taking a picture of me as I contemplate MY mortality.

I think it's neat that they had grass and plants growing on the roof of the castle.

Couldn't get Curtis to look up.

Escher would love this place.

This drove me crazy. I want to bring a bulldozer back some day and dig out all of the parts of the castle that had collapsed.

This plaque labels everything that you can see from this vantage.

"1595"

You can clearly make out at least two cannon balls still lodged in this wall which is pock-marked with impacts from a siege that occurred 400+ years ago.

Germany, Day 5

2011-09-07T16:37:00.052-05:00

Alright. Today was castle day. I'm not going to comment on every picture.

Firstly, the shots from the resort this morning. Yes...those are the alps. This place lacks insects. Slept with the...well....I would say "door" open, but pretty much the whole side of the room opened up. It was a good night.

We headed out to check out some of the castles.

We started with Schloss Hohenschwangau.

Living on a prayer.

This was the most beautiful lake I've seen since.....ever. It reminded me of the lake at the end of 'Band of Brothers' that the Major was swimming in. I want!

We then made our way to Schloss Neuschwantstein. This castle was used as a major reference for the Disney castles.

And back to Rammstein!

I had to get a picture of this dude's fro-hawk.

The first receipt I've ever had from using a bathroom.

Germany, Day 4

2011-09-07T15:02:00.073-05:00

The first part of today was spent walking around historic Prague and then heading back to Deutschland to check out Dachau.

So, after waking up, we walked down the street in Prague to check out the Charles Bridge and see what was on the other side. By the way...it was absolutely awesome to visit a former soviet state!

Our hotel.

Interesting. This was with the walking zombies exhibit.

Ummmm. :)

Ashleigh in Prague.

Looking back on the entrance to the Charles Bridge.

Zoom in and check out the dudes chained up behind the bars.

A view of the river through Prague.

The four of us on the bridge.

A view of Prague from the bridge.

A nasty panoramic view of the river.

Another bad panorama.

Yet another bridge shot.

Jesus with Hebrew writing. Interesting.

Walking off the other side of the bridge into downtown Prague.

We skipped this. <:( I will return!

The three of them were arguing over the map whilst I was taking a picture of the chick on the wall behind them.

Prague town hall.

Just awesome.

Random church.

Random square.

Yes. Ashleigh found Harry Potter in Prague.

Another random church.

Czech by birth, southern by the grace of God!!!!!! (Be sure to read the writing on the door.) Seriously...we were very surprised to find this vehicle parked next to a million-year-old church in historic Prague.

Beefcake!!

No idea what this is. We took so many pictures of historic doors on random buildings it's hard to keep them all straight.

Inside some random church. VERY nice!

Back on the bridge.

Some place where random people left locks and such chained to this grate. I'll have to look this up later. (Gotta love the handcuffs.)

I like this for one reason. It's covered in Jesus stuff but has the all-seeing eye adorned at the very top.

Comrade Ashleigh.

THIS is why I need a SMART car.

Skipped this, too. :(

Nice!

The US embassy. Of the three embassies we passed, this was the only one with heavy security and bomb units screening every car that went by.

Carrot Top doing pushups with moobs.

I need this teddy bear.

European bacon is simply awesome!

Need some hangover chips?

YES!!!!!!!

After we left Prague, we took a drive down to see the Dachau concentration camp. As much as many would disagree with me, I think that this is the kind of thing that everyone should see at least once in their life. From this point on, I won't be doing any more joking in this post. BE WARNED....THESE ARE PICTURES OF A WWII CONCENTRATION CAMP.

A site map.

This is where the train brought the new people in.

"Work makes you free". I've always wanted to stand before this gate in person. It's a testament to human cruelty.

I'd always heard that the difference between the Nazies and every other nation was that the Nazies actually DOCUMENTED all of their war crimes. This is a ledger of new "guests".

Each inmate had to wear a patch that clearly depicted what class of societal "undesirable" they fit in to.

I was amazed at how close the residential area of the local town was to the camp.

A picture of a night's roll-call as portrayed by a prisoner.

A monument.

A model of the camp.

The bedding area.

Each side of this road used to be lined with the housing units. These are the original trees.

Ashleigh and Curtis taking a picture of the Jewish monument from inside the prisoner living quarters.

The Catholic memorial.

Bathing area.

The Jewish memorial.

The protestant memorial.

The Russian Orthodox memorial.

No description required.

You know what these are.

Ditto.

The showers. Sorry...my battery was about to die and I couldn't use a flash.

Literally translated..."shower".

Jewish memorial.

"Pistol Range".

"Execution range with blood ditch".

Grave.

Ashes were dumped here in this hole.

The whole building.

Barbed wire lining the bank of the stream.

After we left the camp, and much to my surprise, we headed to the Edelweiss resort. All I can say was that staying at a resort in the German Alps......NICE!!!!

The big ol' freak'in beer bong that the next table was checking out.

Ramdom chicks kept showing up wearing towels.

The adventure continues tomorrow. :)

Germany, Day 3

2011-09-07T14:43:00.012-05:00

(Sorry for the delay in posting. Internet access has been spotty at best.)

This was pretty much a travel day. We got late start due to GPS "malfunctions" and had some issues navigating our way around Prague. We made it though and had a fun drive to boot. (Kudos to Curtis for being an awesome sport).

A random picture on the wall at the Best Western that we stayed in. By the way...this BW in Prague was better than most NICE hotels back in the states.

Since dog signs seem to be part of this trip's theme...

That's a wheelchair ramp??

Went to some hole-in-the-wall in Prague. Had some hella-good food. The girls are getting very used to drinking these things called "Rattlers'.

Yet another dog sign.

Hard to see. The little sign talks about handicapped access but yet there are only stairs. We surmised that should the button be pushed, a midget army would quickly manifest and carry you up the stairs.

This was a monument memorializing the "victims of communism". I called them the "naked zombies".

Do we have Mutant Mass in the states?

Something I love about Europe thus far is nobody bends over backwards to make sure that you're dumb self isn't going to fall out of a window. The window here is actually 4 stories up and has no screen or net. Great for taking pictures.

Again...no screens. Ashleigh hanging out the window to get a picture of our street.

Entry: Germany, Day 2

2011-09-04T13:59:00.032-05:00

Another good day. We were planning on going to visit the barefoot park and also to Landstuhl to see a castle, but unfortunately the weather (and my sleep schedule) kept us from doing the second part.

We didn't quite know what to call this. I deemed it the "rook". Reminded me of a chess piece.

This was a pretty neat fountain. The channels at the bottom actually run across the various streets and drain on the other sides.

So, apparently, only rednecks and Germans call them "pissers".

Ok. This was creepy as h*ll. I walk out of the pissoir, and there, staring at me, was a life-sized, fake baby. that someone had abandoned whilst they went to the bathroom. This wasn't some kid's doll, either. It wouldn't stop staring at me!!

Apparently, they had these plaques everywhere telling you how to get to a nice walking path. Of course, I kept trying to get everyone to follow them under the mistaken impression that they lead to the barefoot park. Epic fail.

This way to the barefoot park. That's Ashleigh, Curtis, and Georganna.

Foreign branding cracks me up.

We are walking "the path".

So, we started by visiting the barefoot park. in Bad Sobernhein.

En Ingles, por favor.

For some strange reason, the ladies thought that it would be novel to wallow in the nice German mud.

Rinsing off in the 20-degree water.

Any idea what this means?

Gorgeous landscape.

I wish I had video of this. This woman's girl was swinging back and forth while they were crossing like she was a limp corpse.

Georganna and Ashleigh.

You'd think that walking on cork wouldn't feel that bad. In truth, I'd rather barf napalm than do it again. I can at least say that I've done it, now. :)

More gorgeous landscape.

Georganna and Curtis negotiating the...whatever it's called.

This is actually kinda painful when barefoot. Fun, though. :)

The ferry. Got some coins for Charon? What's funny is the little boy on the left is the one turning the wheel that moves the boat.

Neat bridge.

Bambi, this panorama shot is for you. It's the largest collection of garden gnomes I have ever seen. I thought that only Americans were that neurotic.

I know it probably shouldn't, but seeing this in a small German town was kind of profound.

Stuck behind the ol' tractor. Thing even had a license plate on it.

"Zur dicken Emma"

That's a Coke????

And yes...that's a beer. :)

That was the HALF-serving of brat.

Just...funny. :)

Entry: Germany, Day 1

2011-09-03T14:40:00.031-05:00

After being picked up from the airport this morning ~10am local time (and being half catatonic from jetlag and lack of sleep), we trekked straight over to the city of Trier. I'd never heard of it but, MAN, was it cool!!

I actually ended up accidentally uploading these in reverse order. But anyway, here they is. :)

We went to the Church of St. Gangolph. It was pretty neat. Unfortunately, there was a mass going on so we couldn't really do much.

Georganna and her hubby, Curtis. He's....enthused.

A random fountain.

The entrance. Doesn't that centurion look kinda drunk?

We went to the Cathedral of St. Peter. It was, for lack of better words, absolutely off the hook!

That is one truly awesome graveyard.

More dead people.

A panorama shot of the inside.

Inside, different angle.

Inside, take #3.

Cool looking dome. It's amazing what impoverished monks and saints can afford.

A holy man hole.

The twin sister sisters. So, you can say sisters^2 or sisters(sisters()).

I know that some cultures don't care about much, but if someone came up to me and said, "Dude...do you mind if we put you on the cover of a book with your boobs hanging down over your gut and diaper?", I would probably say "no". But that's just me.

"Not Swimming"???

Yield to angelic SCUBA divers.

We also visited Porta Negra. It's a million-year-old Roman gate that used to be the entrance to the city. Absolutely awesome!!

A view from the inside.

Those romans knew how to build some seriously tall spaces.

Ashleigh and Georganna flirting with the local centurion.

An external view of the gates.

Women and children allowed here. (Pay no attention to the anatomically excited lions in the background.)

Women and children NOT allowed here.

These are shots of Basilica of Constantine. Apparently, before it was a Presbyterian church, it was used as a Roman throne room during the Constantine era.

Talk about tall!!

The obligatory cross.

Die, Bible!!

Another part of the Basilica.

Cool fountain.

Nice pond.

Entry: Prepping for Germany

2011-09-01T04:06:00.000-05:00

So...the countdown begins. This time tomorrow I'll be in Newark waiting to board my flight across the big pond. Granted, I'm not looking forward to the 12-hour layover, but it's a small price to pay for international travel. :)

I say "prepping" for Germany when, in fact, I haven't done squat yet. I've laundry to do, DVDs to burn, jerky to make, a passport to locate, etc, etc. We'll see how this works out.

Entry: Diving Extravaganza this weekend

2011-08-24T02:46:00.006-05:00

The International Diving Institute had its monthly Discover SCUBA event. I was fortunate to be accompanied by my sister (Michele), her husband (Brian), and my buddy Sean. We had a blast. The pictures came out pretty well.

My sister and I posing. Just FYI, this was my first time diving with this BC and thus my first time with the dreaded crotch strap. Fun, fun fun.

A picture of me taken from outside the tank. I actually stole this picture from here. Again...first time with this BC. I had enough attachment points on the thing but no clips or bungees to secure my hoses.

Michele and Brian just hanging out.

My sister doing a lap around the tank.

Michele.

Sean.

Some random kids who were watching us from outside the tank. I think they were scared of me.

Sean doing a very graceful ascent.

Michele doing a back flip.

Brian chillax'in on the bottom.

Brian doing a descent.

"Dude...you've something on your face...right here..."

Brian climbing out of the tank.

Michele practicing her power squats for Terry (one of the instructors).

A shot of Brian from outside the tank.

Entry: The Napster Effect

2011-08-09T03:20:00.002-05:00

This image is hilarious, if not a bit sad as well. I suggest you take the time to click on it and read it up close. It's in response to the public outcry stemming from Netflix's recent subscription changes.

This story hearkens back to the time when Napster decided that their only chance for survival was to go "legit". Remember those days? :)

(The following story is fictitious, of course. I've never been one to pirate music.)

Oh yes...I remember it like it was yesteryear. I'm working on finishing up my undergraduate studies and someone comes in to tell me about this awesome new program called "Napster". "It's all your favorite songs for free, man!". And yes, it was. It was one of the few times when something that was too good to be true actually turned out to be true. "Thank you, Napster!"....my friends would say as they found all of the songs that were nigh impossible to find in stores or online anymore. Heck...they even found songs that were impossible to find due to their lack of syndication. Everything from obscure cult-classic 70's songs to a riff that they heard on a random episode of 'TJ Hooker'. After a while, I read stories on Slashdot about how Napster was besieged by the music industry and how the barbarians were knocking furiously at the gate. Nobody ever asked them to fight for our so-called "right" to anonymously download music, but they did nonetheless. The battle waged for years and (after pulling every legal trick in the book to keep their services up and running) in the end, Napster found itself at the end of the plank that it had been forced to walk. The choice was now very simple... acquiesce, or jump into the shark-infested waters below.

I remember reading all of the op-eds and random Slashdot articles about how Napster had "sold out" and how "Hell NO...I will NEVER pay for music again!". Napster...the force of change that had altered the music industry forever and for several years provided anonymous, subscription-less music downloads...was now seen as the bad guy and subsequently abandoned under the banner of disillusion.

Netflix is just an other random and somewhat more trivial example of the "Napster effect"...a reminder that people can sometimes get too accustomed to things that are "too good to be true" so that when they are NO LONGER true, they are more than willing to look that gift horse in the mouth.

Entry: Quote of the day

2011-08-02T04:57:00.000-05:00

"You can always count on a liar to lie to you."

~ me

Entry: Camping at Cataloochee

2011-07-31T17:29:00.028-05:00

Had a great time this weekend camping with Sean, Betsy, and Heather up at the Cataloochee camp site in NC. Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures of the scary-as-heck you're-all-gonna-die dirt roads that we took to get there. It's odd how they'd spend all that money to landscape dirt roads like that but not a single penny on guard rails to keep people from plummeting to their doom in their vehicles.

A panoramic shot of the mountains.

Heather (left), Betsy (middle), Sean (right).

Random wilderness shot.

Heather tending house in our tent. You can't rough it without your double-height queen-size inflatable bed!

As you can see, our tent didn't exactly fit on the "slab" that was apportioned for us so it kinda hung off the side.

A great shot of heather by the river (with a sunbeam bisecting her body).

The fire between my legs.

My trunk turned into a kitchen pantry.

Betsy showing us how it's done on the ol' Coleman grill. Those were some pretty awesome pancakes, too! (And sausage, and hash browns).

Panoramic shot of our campsite.

I was stalking Heather with my camera as she read by the river.

Our first real "wild animal". This elk is so wild that it has a collar.

Nobody would have ever believed me if I told them that I saw a golf cart made to look like a Hummer unless I had a picture of it.

Awwww. Betsy and Sean (as we begin our 8-10 mile hike).

Gandalf finds his staff.

YOUUUU.....SHALL NOOOOT....PAAAAAAASSSSS!!!!!!!

WTH is this?? It perplexed us for a while until we accidentally destroyed it with Gandalf's staff.

This tree was awesome. Someone had hollowed out the base of it with fire. It had really good acoustics!

Just hopping along our merry way.

The bridge that was mysteriously broken in half.

Kinda looks like I'm walking the plank.

Sean trying to fix his beach chair with...wait for it....twine!

Awwww yeaaaahhh!! Dinner that evening consisted of potatoes cooked with carrots and onions, chicken breast, and corn-on-the-cob.

The dinner as it cooked.

Overall, the weekend was a raving success. I only suffered a bee sting, a sore knee, and some near-blisters on my feet. Looking very forward to the next outing.

Entry: Diving Lake Jocassee

2011-07-26T04:35:00.004-05:00

I completed my Level II ("advanced") checkout dives this weekend up at Lake Jocassee. Talk about a ton-o-fun!

I've attached images but I must warn you that they...well...they SUCK! This was my first time playing with my camera underwater and I can tell you now that I am completely ineffective with it. Firstly, I don't know how to handle the flash at all. Secondly, my camera has issues focusing at depth. And thirdly, I have yet to do anything to compensate for the light absorption (which is why everything under the water appears to be nasty and green).

A shot of the "dive boat". A big thanks goes out to Josh for letting us use this for our dives.

Put'in in.

A shot of the cliff adjacent to the dive site.

Random shot over the dive site. I think they said the site was called 'The Junkyard'. Makes sense considering what we saw down there.

Now, remember what I said about light absorption and the color green. EVERYTHING is green from here-on out since we were cruising at an average depth of 60-65 feet. The blurriness is from my simply being an incompetent photographer.

My dive buddy, Andrew, at the Tic-Tac-Toe table pondering his next move.

Signage.

I think that everyone and their cousin had a sign down there.

My experimenting with the flash. Probably the ONLY clear picture in this entire set.

Andrew standing next to a mast of one of the sunken boats. Of course, the mast just happened to have a giant Jolly Roger flag on it and a plastic skeleton (which can be seen here).

Random picture of me.

Scary-as-hell picture of me.

This shot reminds me of that movie, 'The Fog' (the original...not that horrible remake). It's Andrew sitting on top of a boat hull.

Anyone who's read 'World War Z' will appreciate this.

A random floating drum.

There were a lot of cool things down there that I didn't get shots of. I REALLY wish I could have gotten shots of everyone on the motorcycle!

But all was not fun and games (and let this be a huge lesson to me). I suffered a pretty bad case of dehydration during these dives. I saw the symptoms the day before and tried to be diligent about handling it (bananas, water, no caffeine/sugar, etc) but failed miserably. The splitting headache started right about the time I got back to the surface and lasted for a few hours. This was accompanied by the obligatorily horrible case of nausea. I mention these details for two reasons....1) because I'm a dumb*ss and 2) for other people to learn from my mistakes.

Entry: Diving the Edisto

2011-07-17T08:14:00.015-05:00

So, I spent some time in the Edisto River yesterday with my dive gear. The purpose of the trip was to collect fossils and indian artifacts. The truth of the matter is that I spent the whole time fighting the current simply because I didn't have enough weight. I'm cool like that. :)

I was hoping that the visibility would be a bit better so I could play some with my underwater camera. I ended up getting more pictures on the surface than I did under the water given how murky it was.

The walkway to the dock.

More walkway to the dock.

Even MORE walkway to the dock. (Exciting...ain't it?)

View of the river from the dock. And no...I did not perform a slide entry although it was recommended.

More river.

Ditto.

Unfortunately, the owner of the tank on the opposite shore forgot it there and didn't realize it until we were packing up?

Just an idea of how murky it was.

Yeah...you certainly don't do this kinda dive for the scenery.

Would you believe that this is actually a picture of the bottom taken at almost-point-blank range?

Murk.

More murk.

I gotta say...I'm not too impressed with the durability of these ScubaPro fins. One little piece of plastic snaps and the whole thing is useless (unless you have an unlimited supply of tie-wraps like I did).

This dive actually reminded me of the time I spent in the Cooper River last week although the visibility in THAT river was much worse. I didn't end up finding anything but I continued learning lessons on what to and what NOT to do in different diving environments.

Entry: One of the biggest lessons

2011-05-10T01:22:00.003-05:00

Every once in a while, I'll take the time to write a serious post. It doesn't happen often anymore, but I think that the events of the last nine months has provided more than enough material. In short, I had the privilege of falling in love with a singular individual...the kind that you meet only once in a lifetime. They say that every love is different and I agree. This one was no exception to the rule. This particular encounter came with something a little extra though that I was not expecting. She had a...controlling nature about her...for lack of better words. It started out small and innocuous but grew over time in severity and boldness. Let's call her "Jennifer" .

Upon researching some of her bizarre behaviors, I came across words like "psychopathy", "sociopathy", "manipulation", and so on. There were others but they are a little too personal to Jennifer and I will respect her privacy in those regards.

I'm writing this post for several reasons.

I would like to make a contribution to the community of individuals who have known and loved people like Jennifer.
I am hoping that maybe what I write here will help someone else someday.
Future reference.

I'll be honest...I don't think she's a bad person. Am I making excuses for her (which is a textbook sign of a "victim")? Perhaps. Probably. Who knows. I don't think that she had one over-shadowing goal to use, abuse, and then throw me away (although she made some very convincing arguments for the contrary). According to this article ....

"You must understand that manipulative behavior is really about exercising control over the events, situations, and other people that effect that person's life. They have developed these techniques and behaviors as a sort of defense mechanism to control things that are distressing or frustrating for them. However, this supposed control comes at the cost of damaging relationships, whether with family members, friends or even a spouse."

The bolded portion of the above quote is the real take-away here. I have every right and reason to believe that her intentions were malevolent. The jury's still out on that though and probably will be for quite some time. If you kept your head down and your eyes forward, she would seem as normal as apple pie...even charming. Given that probably 95% of people would never actually notice (or call her on) her "inconsistencies", I often wonder if perhaps I simply tried to occupy a spot in her life that she believed required extra scrutiny and "oversight". Again...making excuses.

This was the article that opened it all up for me. I read this and I could have sworn that the author knew Jennifer personally. I hesitate to use it in this post given that the article implies a degree of manipulative intent that I'm not necessarily comfortable applying to Jennifer. Regardless, I'll paraphrase the 8 points listed as I think they are very important to anyone who's ever been in this kind of situation.

There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional manipulator. And oh boy isn't that the truth! You can try to lead by example and fight the good fight with all the honesty, reason, and logic that you can muster, but it will not avail you. This article talks a bit about lying and how offenders are particularly good at using it as a tool with the precision of a reflex action. Although Jennifer did appear to avoid lying when at all possible, she would if cornered, and quite boldly. She would also omit important details that she wouldn't have to. In her mind, by not saying or admitting to things that she didn't want to, she wasn't, in fact, "lying" and considered herself to be honest. (No kidding...she even said so). She had told me from day one about certain issues that she had to deal with. Oddly enough, none of the pieces she ever provided for the whole picture ever seemed to fit together. On a couple of occasions, I even consulted subject-matter experts regarding things I'd heard from her and was met with very strange and unbelieving looks regarding what I'd heard. But, I was new to the whole excuse-making thing and so I figured that she had her reasons for saying the kinds of things that she did.
An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. And yes...she was. This was and was not to her credit. She is the first person to seemingly offer a selfless hand of support, but she could use it as a weapon on a moment's notice. This part is hard to explain. However, for anyone out there who's gone through this, you know what I'm talking about.
Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not say it. The article says that ... "An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very senses." Jennifer was very good at this. It wouldn't matter what she would do or say nor how ridiculous her explanations were when she was asked on the spot...she was always going to be justified in her mind and she would make sure that I paid an emotional price for ever having thought anything that was contrary to what she wanted me to. It's a very brutal form of defensive aggression. The article also warns ... "Emotional Manipulation is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making notations during conversations." My case wasn't exactly that literal, but as silly as that may seem, it was true nonetheless. I'd seen her whip out her mobile phone to look through some previous texts to justify her perception of a situation (and, in her defense, she was right in that particular situation). But on multiple occasions before and after that, my attempt at doing the same thing would send her into a rage. She saw it as my being childish (and would, of course, lay on the guilt trip).
Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. Reading this point was probably what struck the hardest chord with me. I had given of myself on so many occasions to this woman in ways that she was and was not aware of. "The crazy thing is that when you do it for them (which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything!". This one is a particularly sore spot for me so I'm just going to leave that quote alone. I will say, however, that Jennifer was good at always making sure she kept me down a notch. I was always "selfish", "spoiled", or some other random word. It was "always about me" and so difficult for her to be around someone who needed to grow up. This article reinforced this by saying ... "A manipulator will play on your negative emotions in order to elicit your compliance. In other words, if you fail to comply with their request, they will then try and make you feel bad, selfish, naive, foolish, guilty or whatever emotion will cause you to capitulate to their desire in order for you to obtain relief from those negative feelings.". I swear...sometimes I just wanted the universe to swallow her up after hearing something that was so false and so patently, ridiculously, stupid to say.
Emotional manipulators fight dirty. (Sigh). Yes. Jennifer had an interesting way of twisting completely benign, every-day actions into things that were so "horribly betraying" and then trying to mentally stomp me into the ground by asserting that I had betrayed her trust. In one instance, she even used it to her benefit to foster a strange dual relationship with me and some other guy and ensuring that each of us thought that she had a cr@ppy opinion of the other.
If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain tumor! This actually goes in tandem with the guilt thing. Any little thing made me a "whiner". But, in her defense, she thought that about pretty much everyone. So, if I was having a rough day, best to keep it to myself all the while listening to her angst regarding HER rough day.
Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the emotional climate of those around them. No comment.
Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. Jennifer, I'm convinced, could have done anything she set her mind to. The problem was that her bad work ethic kept getting in the way. It was her Achilles heel. To her, everyone (including people I knew very well) just weren't giving her the opportunities that she should have had to get the job done. All the meanwhile, as she's sensing issues in the background, she refuses to rise and meet them because it's just "not what she does". Fair enough. To each their own. But, in the end, it was about what everyone else had done TO her and nothing about what she had failed to do herself.

The details of the relationship and the details regarding what actually happened are beyond the scope of this post. To discuss them in detail only invites bitterness on my part and I refuse to let these words be about that. The important part is the ability to step outside of the emotional context of the relationship and look at the situation through objective eyes. Jennifer, with the guilt and name-calling, was very good at making sure that my heart was always the part of me that was making the decisions and evaluations. The funny thing is that it might have even been instinctual for her...who knows. But the fact is that, when I stepped out of the emotional haze, nothing made sense and was pretty much all wrong. The problem was that the heart kept reeling me back in.

Here are some things to beware of. They are signs that you are sacrificing your own dignity in order to support the agendas of someone like Jennifer.

"Stop making excuses for the manipulator. If you blame the manipulative behavior on his insecurities or unhappy childhood, know that such excuses are a key part of his manipulative strategy. Be wary of anyone who regularly "plays the victim.'". [link]
"See whether the manipulator alternates between flattery and affection and anger depending on whether you are accommodating his requests. The display of anger may be intimidating or passive-aggressive.". [link]
"If you often feel stressed and resentful when dealing with someone, you may be enmeshed in a manipulative relationship.". [link]

In the end...I confronted her regarding her actions. I told her that I saw it for what it was and that I loved her regardless. She denied it, of course. Her response was to tell me that it's all BS and that I'm free to believe it if I want. She said I was selfish and being inconsiderate of her needs (as expected). Even in the end, I'd still heard the twists. "Think ill of me if it makes it easier...I can soldier on through it"..."I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy"..."All I've ever wanted was your happiness"..."I'll go away now, for your benefit", etc. And those were only SOME of what I heard.

After all was said and done, I was stuck with two possible interpretations. I'm sure there are more potentials, but these are the two big ones ...

She was a heartless, soulless, harpie who used me for God-knows-what reasons.
She was so emotionally "compromised" that there's no way it was ever going to work given normal expectations.

The hard part is that she gave me enough ammunition to to be able to support either argument as well as an infinite amount of possibilities in between. My loved ones tell me it was #1. My heart tells me it was #2. My gut tells me that it was a mixture of the two plus maybe a couple of other things I hadn't considered. Either way, I'll never know and THAT is the hard part. Her parting pot of nonsense to me was something akin to ... "I hope that one day you will understand why I did what I did". Probably not, considering she did a pretty good job of making sure that I never would. The one thing she never could/would do was actually talk. Everyting for her was always in hind-sight. "You shoulda...", "you coulda...", but never anything at the time. I was always on the hook for things that I had no awareness of at all. And, on that note, I'm starting to sound bitter, so I'll go ahead and close this out.

Remember...love isn't having to go through this or constantly having to question that special man or woman in your life. Love isn't making excuses to yourself for their behavior or being made to feel three-feet tall when you try to stand up for yourself. They may be a good person at heart and bring all kinds of joy and giggles to the rest of the world, but if what I have written here describes in any way the love that you share with someone, then something is very, very wrong. Love will always hold you up. Love will always listen. Love will always respect you. And, above all, love will always see you as an equal (at the very least). If you love them as much as I know you do (otherwise you probably wouldn't have stumbled across this post since nobody EVER reads this blog), give them one more fighting chance. Tell them what you know and show them case-and-point how their treatment of you stepped straight out of a textbook. The manner in which they respond should be all you need to know to determine their worthiness. It might turn out that they were never really worth your time to begin with.

Here is a list of good resources if you find yourself in need of some good council...

Spotting Emotional Manipulation: http://www.cassiopaea.com/cassiopaea/emotional_manipulation.htm
A very useful blog by Dr. George Simon: http://www.manipulative-people.com/category/emotional-manipulation/
How to Deal with Manipulative People: http://www.ehow.com/how_4865173_deal-manipulative-people.html
How to Spot a Manipulator: http://www.ehow.com/how_2096284_spot-manipulator.html
How to Deal With a Manipulator: http://www.ehow.com/how_2106098_deal-manipulator.html
Psychopaths In Sheep's Clothing (authored by the guy in #2): http://www.cassiopaea.com/cassiopaea/psychopaths_in_sheeps_clothing.htm
The Telltale Signs of a Manipulator: http://www.burg.com/2010/08/the-telltale-signs-of-manipulation/
Warning Signs of Manipulative Behavior: 3 Types of Manipulation and How to Overcome Them: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-improvement-articles/warning-signs-of-manipulative-behavior-3-types-of-manipulation-and-how-to-overcome-them-1053045.html
Emotional Manipulation Up Close and Personal: http://recognizethesigns.tripod.com/

UPDATE:

I also read up on the concepts of Impression Management and Character Assassination. Very interesting and very relevant to my story.

UPDATE:

Dr. Simon also has a great (and exhaustive) series of articles on manipulation tactics. Perhaps some of them look familiar to you.

Entry: The Truth About Lies

2011-05-01T20:14:00.005-05:00

I've learned two important lessons this year regarding people who lie. I'm not talking about people who tell huge whopping lies, either. I'm talking about the ones who tell fibs when they really don't need to.

Lesson #1:

Beware those people who lie too easily. People who can look you in the eye and spin a yarn without thinking twice (even to the detriment of their own dignity) are to be either watched or avoided. They didn't get to that point without having some serious practice. And remember that, no matter who they are, if they're willing to lie for you, then they're probably willing to lie to you and not even regret it. Heaven help you when they decide to turn that gun from the world to you.

Lesson #2:

It sucks to be the person who tries to take the high moral ground. Don't get me wrong...I'm as guilty as the next in telling my little white lies here and there while I'll also say that I don't make a habit of it. I don't think there's a person on the planet who doesn't do it every once in a while. But overall, I try to do the "right" thing (whatever that means anymore) and take responsibility for my actions. Although I plan on continuing to do so, here is what I have learned. The folks who tell the little lies to get themselves out of huge situations tend to end up on better ground than the ones who just come out and fess up. Have you ever done that? Ever told yourself that if you just come clean then all will be well because that is the way it's supposed to work? Well...it rarely does. Often, it only serves to inform the other party(s) that you're willing to fess up to the failures of your human condition when other won't and weakness like that is often met with negative returns. But...all it takes is one little lie. Spin the truth just enough and you can explain everything while avoiding responsibility for the things you've done wrong. Why the people in the second group are usually the ones to come out on top is beyond me.

Carl Sagan: 1

Theologians: 0

Pics: Scary muscle people!

2010-12-31T21:29:00.007-05:00

All images provided by shechive.com.

OMG!

Give us a hug!

The smile that sank a thousand ships.

How does this chair not collapse??

Lots and lots of veins!

It amazes me me that a person can do this to their body without actually changing the shape of the skeleton underneath it. Seriously...try to imagine this dude's skeleton underneath this mass. How does it work??

Post: My new month's resolutions and wishes

2010-12-24T16:27:00.004-05:00

Why "new month's" and not "new year's", you ask? Because I'm a realist. :)

It has been a long year and, as with all before it, I have learned a lot. With the things that I have learned I have also been reminded of a few lessons long past that burn just as much today as they did the first time that I had to learn them. Instead of letting this preface turn into a monologue, I'm simply going to jump right into it. :)

The selfish things for myself:

I wish for a steadfast resolve with school. The current pace (or lack thereof) is eroding my resolve like a geologic process.
As with all previous years, I wish for a better understanding of the role(s) that the universe will have me play. I have several small roles that I play, but have yet to find the really big one yet. Tangent to that is the regret that I have in having to forsake my volunteer positions for school. I miss serving my community.
The ability not to wear my feelings on my sleeve. If there's one thing I would change, it's that. As with most other people, I should be afforded the luxory of presenting a different face to the world than that of what is in my head at the time. I have a visceral malcontent for people who can do that so effortlessly. :)
To never disappoint any who rely on me.

Things that I wish for other people in my life:

For those who love me and don't understand me, I wish for patience and tolerance. It will "click"...I promise.
For those who are in need of help, to reach out. An e-mail, forum post, text message, phone call, dinner, or visit, whatever. I'm awful at keeping in touch. This doesn't preclude my being there when I'm needed, though.

Things that I wish for the world:

More tolerance
Much more empathy
The jaws-of-life to break the chains keeping the collective hive mind from opening

Jason's Predator Picks of the Day

2010-07-18T11:37:00.007-05:00

LOL.

I love you, Mr. Darcey!

Ah yes. Fresh nightmare fuel!

General Predator.

Run Butters, run!!

Image: LOL

2010-02-08T11:36:00.000-05:00

(http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=1191#comic)

Site: America is not yet lost.....

2010-02-08T02:31:00.001-05:00

This is an interesting article that likens the current state of the US legislative branch to that of the Polish legislature in the 1700s. Definitely a good read.

One of my favorite quotes..."The candle that burns twice as brightly burns only half as long."

Pics: Images of the week

2009-12-29T13:17:00.010-05:00

Woh! Hmmmmmmmm.

LOL.

Yeah...I'd say that's an accurate summary.

I don't know why this one cracks me up so much.

You're never too young to start.

It would SUCK to be that lizard.

No...really...God IS watching you!

This is every little girl's worst nightmare come true.

Entry: My first lucid dream

2009-12-29T13:10:00.002-05:00

I had my first portion of a lucid dream the other night. It was rather startling. I'd known that it was possible for years, but never have I actually had one. Granted, it only lasted for a few minutes (and I mean dream minutes, not ACTUAL minutes). I just remember suddenly wondering if I was dreaming or not. I tested it by trying to read a sign. The sign said "SONY" on it. I looked away and then back, it then said something else that was completely incomprehensible. I realized then that I was dreaming. It didn't last long after that. Drat!! I'm wondering if this is something I should try to cultivate.

Movie: Avatar

2009-12-29T12:47:00.002-05:00

Ah yes....'Avatar'. Everyone's talking about it, most are seeing it, and a large number are seeing it more than once. Did I enjoy it? The answer is a resounding "yes". I enjoyed the h*ll out of it. I get swept up in so few movies anymore. This one, however, struck several chords.

Firstly, yes....it was a very politically-charged production. Anyone with an affinity for politics will find plenty to either gripe about or praise. It had everything including inter-racial coupling, loyalty and patriotism, environmentalism, the scientific process, and the ever-evolving might of the military industrial complex. I cared just enough to be able to identify all that stuff but none of it really struck a nerve. I'm sure that the engineers in the world will smirk at the iconic use of "unobtainium".

So, what was it that I liked so much about this movie? Well...firstly, I enjoyed how Cameron was able to enable the moments in the story to so easily translate through the screen. In this particular context, I'd say that the movie was "epic". I also really enjoyed the soundtrack. James Horner really outdid himself (especially since his primary claims to fame have been the 'Star Trek' movies).

However, it was a single line in the movie that really piqued my interested in the story. In the beginning, our hero, Jake Sulley (a disabled former marine), is sent to the planet Pandora to reluctantly fill the role that his since-murdered twin brother was contracted to play. From the beginning, the character really doesn't seem to be in lock-step with the people around him. In his own words, he became a marine for "the hardship, because he believed he could pass any test that a man could take". The only thing missing in his life was "something worth fighting for". That's the line that got me since I've seen it echoed time and time again in society. Of course, Jake had to go to completely different solar system to find his cause. I guess you could say that I'm still on my quest for "empassionment" and that that is why I identify so much with his character.

Hmmm....on that note, maybe I should join the USMC! :)

(And no, Mom. That was a joke. I'm not really going to join the military.)

Article: The pope has been copyrighted. Awesome!

2009-12-21T02:25:00.003-05:00

Yep. The Holy See, the body of people responsible for all things pope, have decided that the venerated position and all its icons are worthy of copyright. I'm actually surprised that it took them THIS long. I mean....man! There's so much prophet...errr...profit potential there and they're just now beginning to realize it! Looks like I won't be donning my favorite obelisk-wannabe hat for Halloween next year lest I pay a royalty.

Of course, I'm only kidding. More power to them, I say. Of course, I have no idea how this will bode for my favorite comic book...

Entry: The unhappy Humanist

2009-12-20T21:39:00.005-05:00

Ok...anyone who's read my blog enough knows that I enjoy learning about different faiths and philosophies. Tonight, I was fortunate enough to spend some time with the Lowcountry Humanist Society. Those folks are pretty cool. They remind me a lot of the Unitarians. Great folks, all of them, and oh so ready to welcome. However, the point of this blog entry is not to talk about the virtues of Humanism or its practitioners, but to mention one who stood out as an antithesis among them.

Unfortunately, in the process of discussing with people the events leading to my being there this evening, one man took interest in what I had to say about my experiences with the Christians, the pagans, the Unitarians, etc. He made a derogatory comment about my having been with the KKK (or so he felt like mentioning after others had come up to listen in on the conversation). Obviously, he had made that part up, but he had made his intention clear. He was also interested to know what group I would go to next after I was done with the Humanists. So...my question is this...is it wrong of me to be so open about my lack of obligation to any one group when I go to check one of them out? Should I not mention that I'm going strictly as an academic exercise simply to expand my horizons and not to offer allegiance? Did I invite this on myself? If so, dang. If not, then this gentleman can SUCK IT.

The subject in question bore the tell-tale character template of so many atheists that I've had the misfortune of knowing. (Granted, I never actually asked if he was an atheist, but he certainly put on a good show if he wasn't). The conversation that came after his ridiculous introduction, while under the guise of curiosity, was conducted in the usual fashion of the atheist inquisitor. You know of whom I speak...the one who comes up to you, asks you questions about your philosophies, and simply does nothing but offer counter-points to everything you say. (sigh). Granted, not all atheists are like this, but the ones that are operate under the grand illusion that their employment of "ultimate logic" in their thought process gives them a privileged status among their fellow man. It's simply another form of blind faith, IMHO. I just never thought I'd see one turn his sights on an agnostic...especially one like me. :)

The idea of this post wasn't to knock Humanism or anything. I rather enjoyed my time with the group. The moral of this story is that EVERY group has an ass who is just waiting to make himself known. It doesn't matter if you're Muslim, Christian, Jew, Pagan, Hindu, Buddhist, or whatever. There will ALWAYS be those with the inflated sense of identity and self-realization. To all those out there who fit this mold, I offer you this advice....

"Sit down, shut up, and eat your d*mn food."

Entry: Xmas party '09

2009-12-20T14:39:00.004-05:00

Xmas party '09 was interesting (to say the least). I opted out of my company's party and decided to escort a very nice co-worker to hers instead. It took place in the usual spot...the Embassy Suites Convention Center, right next to the N. Charleston Coliseum. I really do think that 95% of all Xmas parties take place there.

The party itself was a blast. Good friends, good people, good times. SOME dancing was involved, but most were too inebriated to pay too much attention to the pregnant camel (ie, me) in the middle doin' my thang. I find the songs that you can simply rock back and forth to to be the best. :)

About halfway through the party, a co-worker and I decided to go party hopping. This was almost inevitable given that there were four separate parties side-by-side. The Meade-Westvaco party was kinda...well...there. We walked in...we walked out. We walked over to the next one in line and they had just closed their doors. I forget what company it was, but MAN are they light-weights! The final selection was the gem. It was a party put on by Trident Health Care. I had no qualms crashing THAT one. Of course, I kept very close to my rule of not consuming anything since it wasn't my party and I wasn't invited. The decor was top notch. Central bar (with plenty of Pepsi for people like me) surrounding a giant Xmas tree, large fake patio trees all around the room with decorations and lights, live band playing a bunch of 80's tunes, couches in the corners (which my friend and I deemed the "Pimp Couches"), a nice chandelier, a veritable cornucopia of delights, and a nifty chocolate fondue fountain. Only one thing seemed weird and that was that the people, although looking high class, were not very lively. We came to find out later that it was a room full of doctors. Go figure. I suppose I should have paid attention to what the "THC" stood for. By the way...as far as they were concerned, I was Dr. Phil, the Proctologist.

We left after not too long and went back to our party. It turns out that the THC folks later came and crashed ours since they wanted dance music. Go figure. :)

Anyhoo...after a long night of dancing, (others) drinking, and plenty of "prom pictures" to last a lifetime, the party came to an end and we all adjourned to a room up at the Embassy Suites for the after-party. I was beat and didn't stay long. After I was confident that my "don't let any drunk people do stupid things in public" duty was done, I bailed and finally hit the sack at ~330 am. Blah.

It was a good party with good people. 'Nuff said. ;)

Book: The Lost Symbol

2009-12-15T18:54:00.002-05:00

So, here are my thoughts on Dan Brown's latest fictional concoction.

After reading 'Angels and Demons' all those years ago, I thought that I had found a new favorite author. It wasn't until I read ALL of his other books that I realized that they are all the same! Here is the algorithm for determining the identity of the bad guy:

Determine who has died or was given as having been dead since the beginning of the book (more often than not a protagonist)
Nevermind. There is no #2. The answer is #1.

Brown is a master of assembling a veritable cornucopia of disparate truths and combining them into an intriguing flight of fancy. Of course, that's what we always think until we see a special on the History Channel about how whack he is. All things aside though, I will admit that he has an awesome ability to pick only the most interesting tidbits for his tales which often prompt a further investigation into things we didn't even know existed. Seriously...who'd ever heard of the Opis Dei before that book?? And sure enough, the term "Laus Deo" ("Praise be to God") is actually enscribed into the capstone on the washington monument (a monument, I might add, that no building in DC is allowed to be taller than). Interesting. Of course, 'The Lost Symbol' has proven again that Brown doesn't know much about computer networks. (And yes, I'm a nerd by trade).

Although this book's story was a tad more underwhelming than its predecessors, I will say that it had the best take-away of any book of his I've read. The theme was very simple....we have lost our way. The premise is that the accumulated wisdom of man has since mutated into a form of pseudo-wisdom.

This was not in the book, but let me give you an example to "illustrate" what I mean. Take, for example, things such as Stonehenge, the pyramids, ancient mathematics, ridiculously accurate calendars that were engineered by simple peoples, astronomy, etc, etc. They all have a common theme. "How were they built?" "How are they so accurate?" And my personal favorite..."How in the hell did some 4,000-year-old pagan align a rock in a way that perfectly foretold the apogy of Saturn across the southern sky in the year 2513?" (Of course, I made that last one up, but you get the point.)

The implication that I took from this book was that man was much wiser in much simpler times. Over time, that wisdom was lost and the fruits of that wisdom were mutated into something resembling todays religions and dogmas. Modern science, taking nothing on faith, marches toward the re-birth of these truths which were obscured by time, ignorance, and tyranny.

After re-reading that last paragraph, I'm wondering just how vague I can be. It's hard to articulate a thought like this. :)

Then again, this is all in my humbled opinion, as always. ;)

Entry: What's up with school??

2009-12-15T18:46:00.003-05:00

I spent a lot of time writing about my experiences with Nova Southeastern University prior to this entry. The fact of the matter is that I am no longer with that institution. For lack of better explanation, let's just say that their program didn't "conform" to my idea of an ideal academic posture commensurate with the degree that I was seeking.

I have since been accepted into the graduate school at the University of South Carolina. This degree will not only be hard but will be a ridiculous exercise in logistics considering that it consists of normal classes (not night classes) in Columbia, SC, which is 100+ miles away from where I live. Did I mention that these classes will be held in the middle of the work day? Did I mention that I have a full-time job??

(sigh)

I figure that this will end in one of two ways:

humiliating defeat that will at least allow me to re-claim what will be left of my sanity
an overall victory that will more than likely leave me in a permanently catatonic state

I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Site: Nintendo music

2009-07-27T01:27:00.000-05:00

(Note: pictures does not match link below...it's just REALLY cool)

It's always important to be able to download one's favorite old-school console music. :)

http://downloads.khinsider.com/game-soundtracks

New Year's Resolutions

2009-01-13T13:05:00.006-05:00

Well....a new year is upon us. I'm currently in Tampa and about to undertake the inevitable return to Charleston. I will be starting a new job in a few days. Excited about it? Not as much as I could be, but it's a job, nonetheless.

I s'pose that I should make a list of the new year's resolutions. I can't recall if I typically did this in the past, but it never hurts to write them down, I guess. :)

Actually, I'm going to compile two separate lists. One will be for the actual goals that I will work on and the other will be for things that I would *like* to work on but very likely won't.

The goals:

Fix my body. This actually has two components. Firstly, I have a bad shoulder and a bad knee. Time to get off my rear and get them fixed. Secondly, I've become so sedentary that I'm actually ashamed of myself. Things need to change.
Consolidate my communications infrastructure. I currently have four different phone numbers (don't ask) and it drives me just as crazy as those who have to call them. Time to dump three of them.
Figure out whether I'm going to stay in my house or not. If not, then take definitive steps in that direction.
Take a more proactive role in my industry. If I'm going to do it, then I'd might as well own it.
Travel more for leisure. This is, of course, completely contingent on work and finances allowing.
Start saying "yes" more often and stop being such a reserved wuss. There's no harm in trying new things and taking a few risks now and then

The runners-up:

Keep in better touch with friends. I suck at this tremendously. This is also somewhat coupled to #6 above.
Work harder in school. I'd like to say that this was going to be definite, but, to be honest, my will is wavering at the moment and I'm debating taking the next semester off.
Actually show my important friends how much they mean to me. I consider this to currently be a personality flaw on my part.
Be better at checking my mail. I hate snail mail.

I'll see what I can do to keep everyone in the loop regarding how this is going. :)

Entry: Random photos

2008-10-27T01:57:00.000-05:00

"WHY???????"

"I'm sorry....you were saying?"

"I'll neeeeever tell."

Entry: Ugh

2008-09-27T12:02:00.002-05:00

Everyone knows that I hate politics. Amongst the reasons for that discontent is my dislike of politicians. Rarely do I go on here and talk smack about any one politician. However, today is different.

I sat and watched President Bush's national address Wednesday evening (was it Wednesday??) and I couldn't help but leave that experience with a feeling of foreboding.

My problem with that speech is that Mr. Bush has a severely crippled crystal ball that he seems to like to use. It's that same crystal ball that he used many many moons ago to sell the nation on the Iraq war. Now, granted, I'm not here to talk about his motivations for going to war or the degree of progress that we're making. I'm here because I can't help but remember his telling the public years ago about the series of events that were going to transpire after the invasion. He told us about how Iraq was going to rebuild itself with its own oil revenues after we got their infrastructure running again. He said it with such confidence....as if it was completely obvious. Well...after his many reassurances, none of his predictions ever came true. And now, here I am on Wednesday evening watching him use those same lines of rhetoric to talk about what will happen with the US economy after this "much-needed" bailout takes place. Supposedly, after the bailout, the economy will normalize and everyone will be shiny and happy again a few years down the road.

The crystal ball looks familiar. I am far from assured. Jon Stewart scratched the surface on this a couple of days later. Feel free to watch for yourself.

Again...I'm not here to discuss the war in Iraq. I'm not here to discuss the economy. I'm simply here to remind everyone that, when Mr. Bush looks me in the eye from that magical picture box in my den and lays out an entire series of events that will transpire of his own design, I have a hard time believing that they will ever happen.

The end.

My first classes at Nova

2008-09-18T18:00:00.027-05:00

Well....sorry it's been so long. Since I took the time to write such a lengthy post regarding whether or not I should attend Nova (see last post), I figured I should at least share some of the pictures that I took of my first trip down there this last weekend. I was actually VERY impressed with the facilities.

A picture of part of Nova from the air. Interestingly enough, the land used to be the site of a large circular runway that the USN/USMC used back during WWII to test aviator skills. You can see the remnants of the airstrip. Flight 19 took off from this very runway the day they disappeared into history.

Yeah. Weird. I know.

That is a really cool aquarium. It's in the cafeteria.

A random shot of the campus from a window.

This is a really bad@$$ building-sized portrait that someone did. Apparently, it was inspired by the Marine Biology folks.

The outside of the gym facility. I'll have to visit this place next time.

The cafeteria. Kinda reminds me of one of those uber food courts that you see in some airports. It's completely stocked.

The doors to the 'Flight Deck'. This is a kind of social club with a bar.

This is the inside of the University Center. It houses the gym, cafeteria, Flight Deck, stadium, etc.

A random monolith in the library.

A random glass garden inside the library.

Here is a little shrine that they built to commemorate the visit of the Dalai Lama (sp?) a few years back.

This is the Carl DeSantis. This is where my classes and orientation were.

This must be for the medical nerds.

I thought this was kinda funny.

This is the outside of the University Center.

This is the inside of the Carl DeSantis building.

Some random indian dude.

My classroom.

Entry: My dilemma

2008-05-16T02:25:00.007-05:00

NOTE: A word of caution. I wrote this in a hurry. Please don't hold the possible excess of grammatical errors, misspellings, and all around BS against me. ;)

So, as many know, I was recently accepted into the School of Computer and Information Sciences at Nova Southeastern University. My goal is to pursue their PhD in Computer Science. "What is the dilemma", you ask? I'm trying to decide if I should quit before I even start.

"But why would you want to do something like that?? At least give it a shot!"

My premise:
Many a would-be-academic has shot himself in the foot by choosing the wrong institution at which to pursue his advanced degree(s). Although it'd be more than adequate for any industrial or government-oriented career, I have hesitations regarding how it would be received by the academic community should I ever endeavor to join their ranks. I'm no stranger to being an alumnus of a less-than-internationally-renown institution. Having received two degrees from one, I have absolutely NO reservations whatsoever regarding the quality of my education after having gone up against people from schools like Penn State, VA Tech, Johns Hopkins, etc. I'm a definite believer in the premise that books alone do not make a person smart and neither does the money they pay to a big-name university.

What are my goals?
1. Currently working for a federal research laboratory, I want to be able to maximize my contributions to the research community (no matter where my career takes me).
2. To pursue this degree NOW (when I am unhindered) instead of later (when it won't be potentially feasible anymore).
3. To definitely consider collegiate academia as a retirement occupation and, quite possibly, even a pre-retirement career.
4. To be able to maintain my career while pursuing the degree. (This is an absolute must.) Therefore, I will be skipping the usual post-graduate student template that demands constant sacrifices to the god of stipends and perpetual impoverishment. Most unfortunately, this creates a demand for a distance-learning program.

My reasons for applying to Nova:
1. Regionally accredited school
2. It is a brick-and-mortar school with traditional class formats (established in 1967) with probably the most time-tested and refined distance-learning process and technology that there is (given that it was an innovator in this field).
3. It is a not-for-profit school

Why this program scares me:
1. Perhaps this is just my humbled opinion, but I think that EVERY CS PhD curriculum should have a very good algorithms course. This school offers none. It's other classes are on the norm, but that one omission has me thinking. I know...I know. It's the small things that keep me up at night. It's just that every PhD I've ever talked to pretty much learned all of his algorithms magic during his post-graduate education. Simply understanding the basics of big-O and having to look up what "P=NP?" means every time I think about it just doesn't seem to cut the mustard.
2. No comprehensive qualifying exam(s). As anyone who knows the pain and misery of studying for quals can tell you, this particular type of exam is to provide assurance to the faculty that you have derived a keen mastery of the crucial fundamentals of computer science theory and that you are ready to move on to your dissertation. Lacking this exam is analogous to becoming a Navy SEAL without ever having gone to BUDS training.
3. My acceptance letter had the wrong date in it. It was the right month/day, but it was for 2007. I guess somebody used the wrong template. They were kind enough to make the quick fix and then re-send it. Still.... IRK!!
4. I seem to recall a few typos in the graduate catalog. This might be my imagination, though. Granted, they were very few and very far between and the catalog was rather humongous, but still!
5. This university has surprisingly little money coming in for research (and I do mean little). That is really scary.
6. It is considered to be a national 4th-tier school.

Why this program DOESN'T scare me:
1. It has all of the requisite accreditations.
2. Minus the algorithms class, the offered courses seem on par.
3. The faculty seems to have a good collective background (Princeton, Columbia, UPenn, Imperial College, Carnegie Mellon, UFlorida, URochester, Purdue, and some others including Nova grads).
4. The faculty seems well published and appear to have diverse and scientifically legitimate fields of research. (Did I just say that out loud???)
5. Having read the testimonies of current and past students, the course-load is no joke and sounds to be on-par with actual doctoral-level coursework.
6. It has very realistic application requirements as would be found in other PhD programs.
7. A masters degree is a prerequisite.
8. There are impressive research dissertation topics from other graduates

Anyone who does an online search for this school can easily find a zillion different people who claim that this school is a "diploma mill" (or, in english, a school that sells degrees for minimal amounts of work and that are mocked by the general academic community). I have found that probably 35% (given my made-up statistics) think so because they believe this school to be a for-profit institution (the sure sign of a diploma mill) never having actually read anything about the school. On top of that, I'd say that an additional 55% think so since they don't consider a distance-based PhD program to be legitimate. These are typically people who favor the usual model that embraces student poverty, teaching assistantships, and no chance at working on an actual career until the diploma is in hand. That leaves roughly 10% who just don't think that the school measures up for various other reasons. THANKFULLY, the overwhelming majority of people (including the nay-sayers) wouldn't dream of grouping this university with the likes of Capella, University of Phoenix, and other for-profit schools. (Well...a few do, but they usually get jumped on pretty quickly by others.)

Comments?

2008-05-06T03:10:00.001-05:00

"The worst thing about the zombie apocalypse will be pretending that I'm not excited."

- Jerri and Steve

Pictures: Me and my sweetie

2008-05-02T02:50:00.001-05:00

I look kinda crazy in this one.

(Her hand is on my butt. Shhhh. Don't tell anyone.)