Thanks to Audra for sending this to me....***WARNING***
If you are under 17 years of age, a prospective employer, or Jason's mother, read no further.
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry ass who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".
Remember.......A good friend will help you move.....a REALLY good friend will help you move a body.......let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
2 comments:
I think #7 should be:
"I'll lock you outside in a shed until you get fed upon by a crazy dog and I have to end your misery with a shovel to the head multiple times."
I mean, come on, that's what lifelong friends do. Still, the other stuff on the list is pretty acurate.
Heck...I would do it for you Wicke! Just don't ever find yourself sleeping in a shed. :)
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