Entry: 2005 - Year in review

NOTE: I have already received some e-mail regarding this post which causes me to question whether I should bother posting stuff like this anymore. Please keep that in mind.

Welcome to my 2005 - Year in Review! What will this review entail? Well...I'm glad you asked. It will discuss some of the details surrounding my life in the past year.

This will be a multi-part story because I'm sure that I will think of stuff to add later. Updates will be forthcoming.

^__SCHOOL^__
As many of you know, I finished my masters degree this year. It was 2.5 years in the making. I wouldn't have traded those years for anything either. It was one of those things that someone has to do for completely selfish reasons. I was fortunate enough to have parents which loved me enough to prod me and act as my crutches for my undergraduate years. Those were some SERIOUSLY unmotivated years too! This time, it was for me, myself, and I. The only one who had anything to lose was me (and yet I had so much to gain).
Also (and you may find disagreement among my former classmates), but I stuck it out through what I consider to be the most difficult of the concentrations that the CS dept. had to offer with this degree. The Computer Science track was riddled with some very difficult classes and, as usual, I was able to scrape by with the help of wonderful friends and professors.
I am still in the same position that I was in before graduation and have admittedly not taken full advantage of my new degree yet. We'll see what the future holds.

^__LOVE^__
I was reminded this year of what a fickle companion the human heart is. You know...on a slight tangent...why do they associate love with the heart?? Many of you have heard me make this argument. Why the heart?! I mean...whenever I'm in such a situation, I feel it in my stomach, not my heart. The stomach is the one doing the flips. But anyway...that's simply an aside from the topic(s) at hand. ;)
I was reminded this year of how easy it is to both hurt and be hurt. I was luckily spared these details during the last few years in academia. I find myself back in the mess now and STILL learning how to do things (at the ripe ol' age of 28). Don't get me wrong....I have learned so much this year and would hardly trade any of it because I have met a few truly wonderful people. A couple of them have made me excel while, regretably, a couple others haven't. But, regret is the enemy of progress. Also, with that comes the bittersweet reminder that to posess someone's heart often comes with the responsibility of taking care of it. It's kind of hard to explain what I mean when I say that. It's kinda like the ol' saying...."The life you save becomes your responsibility". Well...sometimes, I feel that that is the way that it is with someone else's infatuations.
Another thing that I have come to appreciate is the strange way that karma chooses to manifest. As I have mentioned before on here, everyone is doomed to the same actions over and over again. The only thing that changes are whether or not they are the ones performing those actions or whether they are the ones having them performed upon them. Confused? Good! As you should be! :)
One of the things that I hate most about romantic emotion (and yet have learned a great deal about this year) is that any real payoff can only come with risk. The price of that risk is often high and EXTREMELY difficult to bare. Whoever came up with the law that said that love can never be simple should be dragged out into the street and shot (and then subsequantly burned, quartered, and buried).

^__RELIGION^__
Well, much to the disappointment of many, I still have yet to return to any faith (let alone the good ol' Catholic doctrines of yester-year). A friend of mine (with whom I am unfortunately estranged) taught me this year that my respect for religion needs some improvement since it is quite possible that I will one day want to settle down and start a life with a person of faith. I've always held true to the notion that I definately respect a person's right to believe what they want although I may not necessarily respect the content of those beliefs. I'm finding that I still have a little way to go before I can meet someone halfway on that bridge. I'm working on it though. And, for that friend that I just mentioned, although it was brief, if you ever read this, I want you to know that I am very grateful and that I am sorry. At least I'll always have a scar to remind me. ;)

^__DANCING^__
Ah yes. How many times have you all had to read about my exploration into the world of the latin dances. This came after much thought and consideration. For many years (well, actually, my entire life), I had to deal with the fact that I never seemed to have the natural aptitudes that others have on the dance floor. Many of you may have heard me joke about how my dancing makes me look like a "pregnant yak". Well...it's not far from the truth. ;)
I realized this year that dancing, although hardly a necessity, could possibly be considered the world's oldest form of communication. It is a natural activity that we as people do and can hardly explain our natural tendencies to do it.
I've seen a baby dance this year. How would a baby know to dance to a song? That baby probably feels that same thing that we do. It's that weird feeling when you realize that the beating of your heart has matched the rhythm of the music and that creates a form of energy that craves some kind of physical expression.
Anyway (after all that babbling), I have found an outlet to learn. Let's just see where it takes me.


^__POLITICS^__
Nope....STILL hate politics (and politicians for that matter).

I'm sure that I will have much more to write in this as the year closes to an end. Stay tuned!