Time to do some venting. So, I read that article about the biological effects of "love" and how they are so close to certain forms of madness. You can read it below. I have no idea why, but that has sent me on a tirade today. I mean, it's so true, but, for some reason, I feel the need to vent some of my latest thoughts. By the way, for anyone out there reading this, this pertains to ALL people. However, for the sake of (my own) convenience, I'm going to refer to the female gender as the target. If this offends you, please feel free to substitute "he" where I write "she" and "him" where I write "her" (and so on).
I think I figured out why I had my undies in a twist for much of last year. It's funny how someone can think that they're not meeting the right people or that they're not meeting enough people or whatever. One problem that a lot of people have is that they get hung up on the WRONG person(s)! I mean, rarely can you ever really truly move on until you've gotten over that hangup. What's funny is when you get hung up on someone that you really know isn't worth getting hung up on. If you read my previous post today, you'll notice that I ended it like so....
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The part that has always been a mystery to me is not the "how", but the "who" and
"why". That's where the magic is for me. "Why this person and not that one?"
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Now, the oddest thing is getting hung up on someone that completely triggers the "why" part of that. I mean, you think about that person and realize that your life would probably be miserable with them and how there are so many conflicts about you two that it would never work, but still, you think about her. Blah. She can be as mean, horrible, and self-righteous (which I loathe!!) as can be, and yet you'd always have an ear bent listening for that one kind word. Bah!
What's almost as bad (but yet just as annoying) is when you get over someone to the point where you don't really think about them that much anymore, but when they do or say something wrong/bad to you, it still has the power to just ruin your day. What is that?? It's not love, otherwise it would keep you up at night. It's not desire. It's probably not even infatuation (sp?). It's some weird phantom neuro-hormonal reaction in the brain that serves absolutely NO purpose whatsoever! Again.....bah!!
You know....I really don't mind the occasional hang ups (used in the previous context), as long as it is a good person who's worth getting hung up on. The first love of my life...now THAT was a hang up. But still...she was WORTH the hang up! I wouldn't trade the good times with her even if it meant my ability to forget all the bad. But if you're hung up on a girl that you know just isn't worth it.....it's just....what's a good word....aggravating? Embarassing? Psychotic? I really can't find the right word to use. Often, I would SO love to remove that albatross from around my neck and light it on fire (all the while grinning ear-to-ear and listening to it beg for its miserable little life as the flames plunge it into the deepest, darkest depths of the most hellish chasm humanly imaginable).
What a colossal waste of time this all can be.
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