Ok...my day today was....interesting. Here is the abridged version.-- Felt extreme appreciation for the co-worker with whom I got in an argument yesterday. It's nice to work with fairly mature people at least ONCE in one's life.
-- Realized how dumb my ex-girlfriend is. I'm usually not one to gripe, but this conclusion was very liberating. I know I'm going to look back on this post and slap my own hand for writing something as derogatory as that, but I'm in the mood at the moment.
-- Went to get my hair cut. Here's the funny thing...someone recently convinced me that things aren't always going to go as badly as I fear they will. I agreed with them. So today, I trot into the Hair Cuttery. The next beautician in line takes me back and sits me in my little twirly chair. I'm noticing that she's going very slowly and being very meticulous. I then see her NEWLY-ISSUED license on the wall and her hand-written business cards on the counter. I then realize that this girl is new. So, I asked. She said she was and that today was her first day of work after beautician school. I started to tremble a tad. But then, I think to myself...."Why the heck are you worrying? Don't worry unless there's something to actually worry about." So I breathed a sigh of relief and took great comfort in my newly-found relaxation. About two minutes later, I hear...."Ohhhhhhhh.......". I took a gander in the mirror and sure enough, there it was - the nearly-bald patch on my head. Son-of-a-....!!!!!! Well...at that moment, all of the other ladies rushed to her aid and started working on my head. It was a very intricate ballet. She kept apologizing profusely. I asked her..."How did you feel in the first second after you realized that you'd given me that bald spot?". She answered...."I felt....I STILL feel awful!!". To that I said...."Well...you learned everything you possibly could and felt every bad feeling that you could feel in that first second. If I was mad at you, it wouldn't do me any good and it certainly wouldn't add to any lessons which I knew you'd already learned. Accidents happen." Long story short, I paid full price, gave her a whopping tip, and have a wonderful little white patch on the top-side of my head. Son-of-a....!!!!
-- Yeah....so....for whatever reason, the NRA has decided to induct me into their ranks and I received my membership card in the mail. WTF????? It even has the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution printed on the back! The cherry on top of it all is that I'm apparently now receiving magazines about high-powered assault rifles to go along with my shiny new membership! Again...WTF????
--Define hilarity....HILARITY - the feeling one has when watching a male dog that is tied to a tree by a ten-foot line while in the presence of a female dog in heat that is standing eleven feet from that tree. I felt SOOOOOO sorry for that dog! God bless the oposable thumb!!
-- Found out how badly our HOA is screwing us.
-- There's more...I'm just not remembering it.
10 comments:
The hair cuttery??? Hysterical.
I'm sure you're hot as hell anyhow; take a picture and send it to me. Besides your hair will grow back much more quickly than her confidence. And you're a guy, so it will only be a week - she's going to be telling that story for the rest of her career.
Maybe it was the trembling, or the asking, she wasn't nervous until she knew you were? How could you put her under that much pressure? (You know I'm screwing with you, right?)
The act though? You're my hero for today. :)
NRA rocks!!!
Yeah...the hair thing was a first for me. One of my main requisites is that I DON'T LOOK LIKE A SOLDIER OR A MARINE after my hair has been cut. As short as my hair is, it's often a very fine line. They said that if they did that that they could make the boo boo go away. I told them to keep the boo boo. I guess I'm not very patriotic. :)
I didn't tremble a single time. I was calm and collected. It was just my stomach that through a loop or two. It also wasn't much of an act. I mean...what'd be the point in getting mad? What's done is done and I seriously doubt she'd do it to me again. Live and learn.
You are right (write that down), there would have absolutely been no point in being angry and would have done neither of you any good.
However, MOST people would have been pissed as hell, wouldn't have paid for the haircut and MOST CERTAINLY wouldn't have left her a tip.
It was the most heroic thing I've heard today. Just because it's small doesn't make it insignificant.
Duh, I forgot for a second, you're a GUY, I'll give it to you simple:
That was heroic - shut up and take it.
If you really wanted to use simple guy-speak, you'd have to say something like...
"That was heroic - take me."
Woooow!
Guess I'm not really a guy.
Is it too late, can I say it now?
Yes...it's too late. The moment is lost.
I'll have to come up with something else that will get me the same results.
I don't think you'd have to try very hard.
Does "Now!" work?
I think you're getting the hang of this!
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