Sunday, October 28, 2007

I am but a slave

What is this FOUL hold that fatty foods have over me???????
I really, I swear, think I have a minor eating disorder. I go through serious phases of not being able to say 'no' to a chocolate bar. I just scarfed down an entire box of Nutty Bars (the devil's food!!) and I'm wallowing in guilt at the moment. And it's not just one...nooooo! Can't have just one!! Why in the heck did I end up buying that BowFlex last month?? AARRGGG!!!!

My co-workers are constantly teasing me about it too. I wish I'd just develop a horrible case of diabetes or something so that I'd have no choice but to eat well under penalty of death.

Why any woman ever wants me is sometimes beyond my comprehension given the way that I eat. I've even contemplated the shaming approach. This would entail my taking periodic pictures of myself and posting them for the world to see, thus shaming myself into eating consistently well. Slavery by guilt.

I once knew someone who hated to eat. Seriously...she truly disliked it! To her, it was an act of maintenance...nothing else. She saw it more as a daily inconvenience. Why couldn't I be so fortunate? :)

7 comments:

Bone Sucker said...

Hmmm. We want you for your 'chandelier' capabilities, couldn't care less what you eat.

:-)

Bone Sucker said...

That is er, unless it is asparagus.

Jason C. Miller said...

Ok. Let me eat nothing but Nutty bars, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, and Capt. Crunch for two solid months, and let's see what you want then! :)

Bone Sucker said...

OOOOHHH, Peanut Butter Cups... I just had another idea. It will hold.

I like tests... I am definitely a test taker! Is this the beginning of the test? I expect to hear you crunching all the way over here.

Jason C. Miller said...

I have nothing to say here so I'll simply say that you're a dork.

Bone Sucker said...

Isn't it grand?

Jason C. Miller said...

'Tis. :)